Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Valentine: Cancel It

I made the mistake of watching the new television show: Valentine the other night.

The only special actress in this show is Autumn Reeser and she plays a relatively minor role. The actor behind the Cupid character isn't bad either, but the lead actress, Jaime Murray is about as diverse and adaptable as a pet rock.

I loved to hate her when she played the mildly insane, obnoxious twisted love interest in the last season's Dexter. In this series she is singularly responsible for completely stripping this show of what very little merit it has. For someone who has a real English accent, it sounds pretty fake. I've met quite a few people from Britain, none of them sounded like that.

Anyway, on to some of the core problems with this terrible hour of television. The show is about a family of Gods who live on earth in a classic Greek style house who get soul mates together. That's about as original as a Night Rider remake. The acting and production quality is barely par with network fare, there's no chemistry between this "ensemble cast" and visually the show is stylistically barren. The set design, costuming, directing and lighting decisions made for each and every scene are boring, standard and I'd love to see what a pair of film school graduates could have done to make this fun to watch.

As for the writing, well. Embarrassing. Aphrodite gives a character an orgasm by touching her (that was the only funny part of the show), but then she goes on to call it "a straight shot of unconditional love." Pardon me, but unconditional love has very little if nothing at all to do with orgasms. I have to give a few of the younger actors credit, by the way, they managed to perform admirably through very wooden dialogue.

Again, things come down to the lead actress, who will be in our faces for the whole run of the show, picking the missions (yes, these love matches the family make are assigned like missions), for the whole gang is a terrible choice. Look, Jaime Murray has a great body (Aphrodite traditionally does, but it would have been more interesting if they had chosen someone with curves, not near anorexia), and her accent is constant enough not to irritate most viewers, but there are literally thousands of actresses that would have been a better choice.

Valentine: Cancel the damn thing, let the few good actors in this series find work we can enjoy them in.

RL

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